


It's Fine (It's Just A Crush)

by Tortellini



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Crush, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Gay Character, Crack Treated Seriously, Crush at First Sight, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Homophobia, Homosexuality, I thought this was gonna be happy, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Crush, Spoiler it's not, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 18:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12588088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Thomas Barrow thought he could handle the "Jimmy Kent" situation, but turns out he was wrong.Oneshot/drabble





	It's Fine (It's Just A Crush)

Thomas Barrow was smoking. He knew it wasn't good for his health, but you know what? He didn't care. At least he was doing it outside so no one could yell at him. He had more pressing things on his mind right now. Like his love life--or er, the lack of it. But all of that was mainly centered around Jimmy. 

Jimmy Kent was pretty much the woe of all of his goddamn problems without even meaning to be. Thomas' heart physically hurt, like it was bruised.  _Blue eyes that twinkled mischievously over a deck of cards; crinkled as he leaned over to whisper something in Thomas' ear, his breath warm against his neck ever so slightly. Glossy blonde curls that fell in lazy waves over his forehead carelessly, sometimes blown out of his eyes or ran through with fingers..._

But Thomas wasn't shallow. He didn't just have a crush on him because of his looks. Jimmy was snarky, to the point of being a bit mean sometimes. He was smart, and funny, and he never said bad things to Thomas. He wasn't afraid of anything. He played the piano. (And sometimes in the middle of the night when Thomas was feeling particularly lonely he imagined nimble fingers against his skin--he pretended his own touch with his scarred, tired hands were someone else's. He wasn't proud of it).

Everything's was going to be fine though. It was just a crush. Just a crush. 

If he repeated it enough then maybe it might be true one day. 

"Mr. Barrow!" the door opened and speak of the devil, Jimmy poked his head out. "Dinner's ready so stop smoking up a chimney and give us a hand."

I love you, Thomas thought on instinct, before cursing himself. Shit shit shit. 

Just a crush. 

"Be right in, James." He stubbed out the cigarette and in doing so tried to leave behind all of his unnatural thoughts out here in the cold. 

And then, taking a deep breath, he came back inside. 

 


End file.
